I have had quite a lot of time on my hands lately, and I chose to spend it watching debates on YouTube (some of which I have posted). In the debates between atheists and theists, I found it absolutely mind boggling how many theists claimed that without religion there could be no morality (cause the usefulness/righteousness of an idea has lots to do with its veracity right?). Many outright asked questions such as “without God what stops us committing murder or rape”? Well, being utterly fed up with surreptitious accusations of my immorality, I have decided to start posting all the wonderfully “moral” Bible verses I find during my travels. Let’s start off with three of the more obscure ones (I’ll leave the slam dunk passages condoning slavery etc. for later):

Numbers 31: 7 – 18

7 They fought against Midian, as the Lord commanded Moses, and killed every man. 8 Among their victims were Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur and Reba —the five kings of Midian. They also killed Balaam son of Beor with the sword. 9 The Israelites captured the Midianite women and children and took all the Midianite herds, flocks and goods as plunder. 10 They burned all the towns where the Midianites had settled, as well as all their camps. 11 They took all the plunder and spoils, including the people and animals, 12 and brought the captives, spoils and plunder to Moses and Eleazar the priest and the Israelite assembly at their camp on the plains of Moab, by the Jordan across from Jericho.

13 Moses, Eleazar the priest and all the leaders of the community went to meet them outside the camp. 14 Moses was angry with the officers of the army —the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds—who returned from the battle.

15 “Have you allowed all the women to live?” he asked them. 16 “They were the ones who followed Balaam’s advice and enticed the Israelites to be unfaithful to the Lord in the Peor incident, so that a plague struck the Lord’s people. 17 Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, 18 but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

Deuteronomy 13: 6 – 10

6 If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend secretly entices you, saying, “Let us go and worship other gods” (gods that neither you nor your ancestors have known, 7 gods of the peoples around you, whether near or far, from one end of the land to the other), 8 do not yield to them or listen to them. Show them no pity. Do not spare them or shield them. 9 You must certainly put them to death. Your hand must be the first in putting them to death, and then the hands of all the people. 10 Stone them to death, because they tried to turn you away from the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

Judges 19: 22- 30

22 While they were enjoying themselves, some of the wicked men of the city surrounded the house. Pounding on the door, they shouted to the old man who owned the house, “Bring out the man who came to your house so we can have sex with him. ”

23 The owner of the house went outside and said to them, “No, my friends, don’t be so vile. Since this man is my guest, don’t do this outrageous thing. 24 Look, here is my virgin daughter, and his concubine. I will bring them out to you now, and you can use them and do to them whatever you wish. But as for this man, don’t do such an outrageous thing.”

25 But the men would not listen to him. So the man took his concubine and sent her outside to them, and they raped her and abused her throughout the night, and at dawn they let her go. 26 At daybreak the woman went back to the house where her master was staying, fell down at the door and lay there until daylight.

27 When her master got up in the morning and opened the door of the house and stepped out to continue on his way, there lay his concubine, fallen in the doorway of the house, with her hands on the threshold. 28 He said to her, “Get up; let’s go.” But there was no answer. Then the man put her on his donkey and set out for home.

29 When he reached home, he took a knife and cut up his concubine, limb by limb, into twelve parts and sent them into all the areas of Israel. 30 Everyone who saw it was saying to one another, “Such a thing has never been seen or done, not since the day the Israelites came up out of Egypt. Just imagine! We must do something! So speak up! ”

Now, many will call foul. I can picture some people screaming: “but all of those verses are from the Pentateuch/Old Testament!” or “you are just cherry picking verses!” But, whether it is from the Pentateuch/Old Testament or the New Testament is utterly meaningless. It’s the same God right? The same three-headed monster that came down in the form of Jesus divinely inspired someone to write these hideous verses/carry out these actions. The source of Jesus’s morality, and the morality that inspired these passages is the same. And, damn straight I am cherry picking verses. You are claiming this book was divinely inspired by a perfectly moral omnipotent entity. It should be perfect. If he were perfectly moral and omnipotent, I should not be able to do this. And, are not the verses condoning homosexuality and abortion (etc.) similarly cherry-picked?

On second thought, I am no longer offended that I do not live up to your closeted moral guidelines…